Not only are the fantasy football playoffs coming up, so is Christmas. So along with our typical Week 14 charts, sleepers and kick off/set down tips, we’ve got Christmas carols. In case you’ve missed it in recent years, I’ve done a Top 10 of the Best Christmas Carols, Best Christmas Cookies, Best Christmas TV Episodes, and Best Christmas Movies, all of which you can find here (#CheckTheLink). Well, this year let’s be a little naughty. Not as in naughty or nice and make the Top 20 Worst Christmas Songs!
*** Oh! And we may have found a solution to the standings widget problem using Fantasy Nation (via Football Diehards). All three ratings work and can be edited by me (unlike before), and the widget will let you scroll in Android (browser) without using two fingers! HOORAY! ***
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2022 Week 14 Fantasy Football Sleepers
🚨 HEADS UP 🚨 These are sleepers. They won’t mimic my ranking 100%. It’s an upward pursuit and often carries more risk.
POSSIBLE STARTER: Jared Goff, DET — Goff is coming off the back of two good games, which happen to be at home. Goff is better indoors, with 18 of his 19 touchdowns coming inside (nine games). The last time he faced the Vikings, Goff was 277-1-1 for 13.9 fantasy points, and it was a road game. Goff is worth the risk at home in a nice matchup and with some solid receivers…though I feel like I’m running into that gamble error again.
POSSIBLE STARTER: D’Onta Foreman, KOLA — Foreman sounds ready to go after being fatigued before the Panthers’ bye, and after posting 118, 118, 130 and 113 rushing yards, respectively, in his four games with 15+ carries, there’s good reason to be excited. Seahawks can’t stop the run — remember Josh Jacobs in Week 12? — and just let Cam Akers put up a 17-60-2 rushing line. Foreman isn’t just a possible starter, he’s a must-start in Week 14. Chuba Hubbard is a deep play given this matchup if you need one.
HALE MARY START: Raheem Mostert, MIA “Who knows what’s going on with Jeff Wilson and Mostert?” Yes, the Dolphins fell behind quickly last week, but that doesn’t completely excuse Wilson’s elimination from the game. However, we have two reasons, both – but even more so Mostert – are in play this week. The Chargers are also extremely vulnerable against running backs, but their offense is strong enough to keep pace with the Dolphins or even surprise with an early lead. If Week 13 is any indication, that would mean more Mostert and a potential Top 20 finish.
POSSIBLE STARTER: Zay Jones, JAX — Jones had fantasy grades of 10.8 and 20.0 in the two weeks before the Lions’ upset. He still saw seven targets last week, and the Titans game could help Jones recover. The Titans have given up the fourth-most receptions (170), second-most yards (2,308 yards) and most touchdowns (17) to wideouts this year.
POSSIBLE STARTER: Courtland Sutton or Jerry Jeudy, DEN — If Sutton can play, he’s in line for a solid game, and if not, Jeudy could step up to finish in the Top 30. The Chiefs are in the Top 10 in receiving yards and wideout yards, but what’s even more appealing is , that they’ve allowed the second-most touchdowns, which helps receivers have an opening week with even mediocre yardage.
HALE MARY START: Van Jefferson, LAR — The Raiders are on a roll for the Rams, and while there’s almost nothing to like about this team, Van Jefferson is a great desperation play. He has a 19-11-136-2 receiving line over the last four games. Okay, yes, those yards are disgusting. However, it is a hope for a touchdown (and a prayer…and a letter to Santa…) that would position Jefferson for 10 points and a Top 30 ranking.
Oh, and with this GIF, don’t forget to watch Violent Night!
- Fun and inventive action
- The port is great
- Some good feelings
- Pretty funny
- Hereditary vibes
- A true Christmas action movie unlike Die Hard… Go see it! 8.5/10
THEY ARE ENDING
HAIL MARY START: Chigoziem Okonkwo, TEN — Make “blessing” jokes, but Okonkwo has a combined 10-7-103 in the last two games and, hey, that’s good enough for TE16 (#BanTEOnlySpots). Even if they allow just four touchdowns to tight ends on the year, the Jaguars still allow the 13th-most FPPG to tight ends, and their APA is eighth-best for Week 14.
Fun with ranking!
The worst Christmas carols
As I mentioned in the introduction (but in case you missed all that)… and in case you missed last years… I did the best Christmas carols, the best Christmas cookies, the best Christmas TV episodes, and the best Christmas movies, all of which you can find here (#CheckTheLink). This year — continuing the bad versions started on Thanksgiving — here’s the Worst Christmas Songs Ranking!
- All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth “Is that Towley from South Park?” The melody is almost as unbearable as the voice and the grinding of teeth.
- I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas — Top annoying voice, melody and nonsensical lyrics.
- Do they know it’s Christmas? – You know why.
- Here We Go A-wassailing “Somehow a minute and 12 seconds feels like hours.”
- Dominic the donkey “If you like that, we can’t be friends… and I have Italian in my family, so don’t come up with that.”
- Twelve days of Christmas “How did I forget this one?” Maybe because I want to push this awful song in every variation with bird fascination into the dark depths of my mind where it can’t escape?
- Christmas shoes “That’s what I want… a depressing Christmas carol from a creep dude.”
- Mary You know “It feels like a church hymn.” Plus we never hear from Mary.
- Grandma was run over by reindeer “Prove Santa is real by celebrating grandma being trampled by animals?” Sure.
- What kind of child is this? “What Christmas carol is that?” It feels like a snooze fest of a Witcher ballad.
- Baby, it’s cold outside “More about tricking someone into staying than anything to do with Christmas.”
- Santa Baby — A weirdly sexualized Christmas carol that makes a woman sound like a gold digger? The 50s were weird.
- Merry Christmas, the war is over “So it’s NOT Christmas.” Sheesh. And the children at the end could add to the atmosphere of the haunted corridor.
- This is Christmas for me “I don’t hate a cappella music, but this one is weird and doesn’t even feel like Christmas.”
- Chipmunk song “Perhaps well once at Christmas.” Perhaps. Anything more causes a headache.
- Feliz Navidad — More annoying than a kid saying, “Hey, look, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, look!”
- Little boy drummer “I’m not sure what’s more annoying… the endless versions of this song or ‘par-rum, pum-pum-pum.’
- Angels we have heard on high — Glorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. ugh And why do we care about Ex-Chelsea Day?
- The first Noel — Long, slow, repetitive. don’t do it hatred i hate it but like the chipmunks once i hear it i’m good for a month.
- A wonderful Christmas “Thank you again, Ryan George, for pointing out the hilarious absurdity.”
Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime” is about friends who practice witchcraft, but then someone walks in and they suddenly have to make it cool pic.twitter.com/0FscqecVzW
— Ryan George (@theryangeorge) December 11, 2019
Feel free to list your most hated songs or favorites for fun…Give me all, great, hilarious fun!
Desmond Ridder News Sidebar:
With Reeder taking over in Atlanta, he has similar fantasy football potential to Tyler Huntley with a higher ceiling. If you don’t need Huntley, I’d take Reeder instead since Lamar Jackson should be back. Here’s what I said about Ridder before the NFL Draft.
+ Good eyes for manipulation and reading; good throws downfield and outfield; great upside with a strong presence in the pocket
– Hand speed/slower mechanics lead to giving defenders time and deflected passes; missing zipper for small window; questionable placement — can lead to interceptions
= Ridder has enough rushing potential to push him into high-end QB2 territory with a lower ceiling passing potential (more in the 4K, mid 20 TD range) similar to Russell Wilson when he ran more.
Week 14 Fantasy Football Screenings
🚨 KEEP YOUR HEAD UP 🚨 They may differ from my rankings and mine ranks are the order in which I would start players out of added context, such as “You need the highest potential, even if it’s risky.” In addition, based on 4-point TDs for QB, 6-point breaks and Half-PPR
Forecast download link
***These are NO updated Sunday morning, FYI***
Week 14 Fantasy Football Standings
🚨 KEEP YOUR HEAD UP 🚨
- We may have found a solution to the standings widget problem by using Fantasy Nation (via Football Diehards). All three ratings work and can be edited by me (unlike before), and the widget will let you scroll in Android (browser) without using two fingers! HOORAY!
- It’s updated regularly, so keep checking back until lineups are locked.
(Photo by Todd Kirkland/Getty Images)