DEAR ABBY: I met my boyfriend online last year. He lives in England; I’m in the US and I love him so much and we’re talking about moving together within the next year. The original plan was for him to move, as I am close to my family and have an established job. However, I’m a little worried because he doesn’t drive. Not only because of the learning curve it will take to change sides of the road, but he doesn’t drive in the UK either.
I recently asked him why he doesn’t do it, and he said he’s worried he’ll do it again. He was addicted to drugs when he was young but has been clean for many years. I don’t judge him for his past; I am proud of who he is now. But I’m worried about having to drive both of us when we live together because my city doesn’t have good public transportation. Is there a way to bring a test drive in the US without putting him in a bad place? Or is there no way around this? — MIDWEST ONLY DRIVER
DEAR ONLY DRIVER: Has this person ever been to the US to visit you before? If he doesn’t, and he doesn’t have a job that would prevent it, why not invite him to stay for three or four weeks? That way you can decide if giving him all of his rides can be done and not bother you too much in the long run.
Frankly, I don’t see the connection between his past drug habit and his concern about driving. You two need to get to know each other better before one of you decides to uproot your life and move. If your relationship continues to grow, it may make more sense for you to move to the UK
DEAR ABBY: Where do I begin? I have been a loyal reader of your column for years. I have been married to my current husband for 14 years it is not good. He was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure and heart disease seven years ago and has not held a job since. We have a daughter who will be 7 years old soon. I feel he could solve these problems with his medication and diet. However, he insists his health condition prevents him from working.
He does not take care of our daughter and does nothing at home. I take out the trash, wash the dishes, give the little one a bath, brush his teeth and hair and take care of ALL the bills. He makes excuse after excuse. I have been a provider for a very long time. Please help. — TIRED OF CALIFORNIA
TIRED DEAR: You said being married to this man for 14 years is “not good”. Nowhere in your letter did you mention if there was any love left between you. Does your husband’s DOCTOR agree that his health condition prevents him from working? Ask a question! If the answer is yes, then you will have to decide if you can live up to your oath about “in sickness and in health.” If the answer is no, make an appointment with a family law attorney and ask about your options and what your responsibilities might be if you decide to separate or divorce.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
